HIS MOTHER'S JOY
AND
HIS FATHER'S BOY

PRIVATE BENJAMIN HOWARD

ROYAL SCOTS

26TH AUGUST 1917 AGE 19

BURIED: HARGICOURT BRITISH CEMETERY, FRANCE


Is there any difference between inscriptions that are chosen by mothers and those chosen by fathers? As a generality, women (mothers and wives) chose more affectionate, loving inscriptions than men. Men were more likely to express their pride. Young Benjamin Howard's inscription seems to represent exactly this point, emphasised by the way his parents asked for it to be carved.
However, it's difficult to generalise about inscriptions; yes someone signed the form which confirmed the choice but were they the person who actually chose it. The person who signed for it could just have been the more literate or the one with the better handwriting rather than the one who made the decision.
Mothers do seem to be the privileged mourner in many inscriptions; Private Snooks died on 4 April 1916 for 'Mother, King & Country', the form signed by his father. Corporal Savage, who died on 3 October 1918 was, 'A mother's darling'. Mrs Savage signed the form but it appears that Mr Savage was still alive. Mr Robinson was definitely alive when his wife confirmed the inscription, 'My darling' for their son Private David Robinson killed on 22 September 1917. Mr Robinson died in 1950 and was described on his headstone as the 'beloved father of David' so it's not as if there was any estrangement. Yet fathers could be affectionate too as shown by this inscription, which Rifleman Henry Herbert's father, a widower, chose: 'Farewell my son, your life is past loved by your dear father until the last'. And Mr Ride risked offending his other sons when he chose this for his son's inscription: 'Dad's best pal'. He risked offending his wife too as she was still alive and doesn't get a mention.
Mr and Mrs Howard had two sons, Benjamin and his younger brother, Thomas. Benjamin attested on 6 June 1916 when he was 18 and 4 months. It was a year before he joined his unit in France on 3 June 1917. He was killed in action ten weeks later. Thomas Howard was too young to serve in the war, he was still only 14 when it ended.